So jealous and bitter of my cousin.?

I really don't want to sound mean here but you've had everything including what sounds like it should have been a wonderful family even if it was all boys. Girls are great but those boys were your babies and deserved as much love as a little girl would have gotten. The cousin that moved away sounds like she is having a good life too even though the people that are supposed to be her family treat her like they do. I feel bad for her not you. To be honest you really should see someone professionally because you're too old to be the way you are. You should feel blessed that you have what you have.